Its a hell of a thing to realize you are not the master of your own destiny. Despite what "The Secret" tells you, there are just some things you will not be able to achieve in life. I know now what one of mine is...Recovering Celebrity Addict on VH-1's Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew.
And it sucks.
I got three things going against me.
1. Not a celebrity
2. Not a drug addict
3. If I was a drug addict, no one would care, cause I am not a celebrity.
Its a vicious cycle.
It really sucks, because I love that show and I really want to be on it. I think Dr. Drew could fix me, once I get my drug problem. And after that he can work on all the other things that are wrong with me, that caused me to have the drug problem, that I don't have yet.
Plus, I'd get to hang out with all those great D-Listers. I could sit and ask Jeff Conaway about Andy Kaufman. (Cause let's face Jeff Conaway is always gonna be there. At this point he has been on drugs more years that he hasn't.) I could quiz Gary Busey if there is any other movies he has been in besides Buddy Holly, Lethal Weapon and Point Break. Get Steven Adler to try and remember when he was in Guns 'N Roses. I could get the low down on Ryan Seacrest from all the American Idol castoffs that end up there. And the rest of them, I think I would just be fascinated by whatever it was that they did to have the show's producers consider them a "celebrity". (Sean Stewart?)
I guess with the loose definition of "celebrity" these days, there is hope for me. Hey, maybe if this blog takes off, I will be able to cross VH-1's low low threshold. So tell your friends about this site. Let's get the word out! I got to get JUST famous enough that I will be able to trade sexual favors for Oxycontin. And then...
ITS OFF TO CELEBRITY REHAB!
I'm coming Dr. Drew!
Clear your calendar for Family Day at Pasadena Recovery Center, Mom.
Jason
No comments:
Post a Comment