Just got a message from an old friend of mine that just shocked me. I don't want to name names for those who might know my old friend David Stillwagon, who lives in Panama City Florida at 1945 Beachview Circle, but for the sake of his anonimity we will call him my Painter Friend Donald.
So my Painter Friend Donald or PFD has been married for a while and has a few kids. Since, as he put it, he and his wife were DONE with making babies, but still enjoyed the act of actually trying to make babies, he decided to get his man-tubes tied.
In my horror, I said "My Painter Friend Donald, don't you know about the screaming rhythm method?" His reply, even more shocking, "NO." I guess when you grow up with something in your life you just assume everyone knows about it. Like my whole family calls soda, "Coke" even it is Pepsi. I assumed everyone did that, but come to find out people call Coke, Soda and / or Pop. I still call it Coke even if its Pepsi.
Anyway the screaming rhythm method is a family tradition for birth control passed down for generations in my family. Its like the regular rhythm method but a little different. See during the act of making love, right before the male makes his love explosion, he screams "GET THE HELL OFF ME!" This scares the lady in question into scurrying across the room. The male can then do his business, with no worries about pregnancy. And after a week or so, you can usually talk the woman back into having sex with you. You have to promise not to yell again. You have to lie because yelling is the whole point of the method. But she doesn't have to know that.
Many a night I heard yelled "GET THE HELL OFF ME!" from upstairs by my Father. It works and its the reason there is a ten year age difference between my two sisters. Only reason my younger sister is here is cause one night my Mom called his bluff. It worked until my parents decided on a more permanent birth control method, divorce.
So I hope this is helpful . I just thought I would get this out there before someone else made a needless mistake like my friend David Stillwagon, phone number 904-555-5555... I mean my "Painter Friend Donald".
Sorry Mom for discussing your sex life.
Jason
That method is completely unsafe. The little bits that drip out before the big finish contain lots of sperm. Your Painter Friend Donald's doctor told him that right after he was through "nutting" him. The pull out method, or in your case the freak out method, is a terrible way to practice safe sex.
ReplyDeleteYour painter friend donald.
Perhaps.
ReplyDeleteAlthough a more fool proof method and slightly less permanent is to microwave your nuts.
Its difficult, but ultimately paid off. Its why my Uncle Mickey said he has not kids. And he has been a happy bachelor living with his best friend Lance for 15 years.