Waiting For My St Patrick’s Day Miracle

So it’s St. Patty’s Day. It seems to be a holiday people love. I am just not sure why.

Kids love it because they get to wear green and pinch those who do not. College Kids love it because it is an excuse (like they need an one) to drink themselves into a green beer coma. Adults like it because it is chance to go out relive their college years of drinking themselves into a green beer coma.

It’s the only holiday with crass mass marketing of : Shamrock Shuffles, Shamrock Shakes, Leprechaun greeting cards, the aforementioned green beer, and more corned beef than you can shake a four leaf clover at. Yet no one cares.

Have you ever heard anyone say “I hate how St. Patrick’s Day has become so over-commercialized”? Never. No one ever longs for the “good old days” when St Patrick’s Day, “meant something”. You never hear “In my day, on St. Patrick’s Day we…” , because you did nothing. St. Patrick’s Day never changes.

Beer, Beef and Green that is really all there is to the day. There are no St. Patrick’s Day gifts or candies. No St. Patrick’s Day moral that we all have to adhere too. It doesn’t even have a damn mascot, unless you count a non-descript Leprechaun.

Well I say no more! You need to step it up St. Patrick’s Day. No longer can you just be a day for wearing green, pinching, and puking up green beer.

I want "Clover the Magic Leprechaun" to leave good children lucky green candy and bad children a potato famine. I want people to complain that it’s March 16th and still they have not gotten all of the St. Patrick’s Day shopping done. I want families to gather together and get into political arguments and have someone say “Guys, stop! It’s St. Patrick’s Day.”

And I want a fucking miracle. I want something stupid and unexplainable to happen, and then have some little kid look at it in awe and say “It’s a St. Patrick’s Day Miracle, Mommy.”

That would in itself, would be a St. Patrick’s Day Miracle.

Jason