EVERYTHING OLD IS... OLDER...

My morning started off as normal as any other. Dragging out of bed, and then dragging into the shower. While in the shower I couldn’t get “Into the Flesh” from Pink Floyd’s The Wall, out of my head. Not sure why. I don’t usually sing in the shower. Singing requires joy, and there is no joy to be had for me in the mornings.

This led to a small anal retentive quest, to put The Wall on my Ipod for my commute to work. I also, for fun and because I don’t remember seeing all of it, ordered the movie on Netflix. While ordering the DVD, something caught my eye, the year the album The Wall came out, 1979. Yes, Pink Floyd’s The Wall is 30 YEARS OLD.

Thirty years. I know people who are not even or barely that old. I know people who have children and are NOT EVEN that old. Man I feel old. It just sort of put things in perspective. The things I know, the things I grew up on, they are OLD. When I read about movies being made about cartoons I watched as a kid or movies getting remade, I am always like “Why? That movie is only a couple years old.” And its not. Its twenty years…thirty years old.

It didn’t used to be this way, Used to be, old things we old. Sure remake Father of the Bride. That is an OLD movie with Spencer Tracy. Its in black and white, for God sakes. But Friday the 13th? That movie came out in 1980, it is only… OH MY GOD!

Wanna feel old? Batman with Jack Nicholson as The Joker, came out twenty years ago. Ghostbusters 25 years ago and Ghostbusters 2, twenty years ago. Goonies came out 24 years ago. Nirvana’s Smells Like Teen Spirit came out 18 years ago. Home Alone, 19 years ago. That is right little Macaulay Culkin, next year, will turn 30.

Even new stuff is old. The first Harry Potter book came out 12 years ago, and the actor who plays Harry Potter, Daniel Radcliff, just turned 20. The Matrix, Sixth Sense, and The Phantom Menace are all ten years old. And the final episode of Seinfeld was on May 14, 1998, 11 years ago.

It seems like just yesterday that Britney Spears first single came out. But it wasn’t. It was ten years ago. Back when if you even had a computer, it was a desktop, and if you had the internet, it was dial up. If you had an e-mail account it was most likely an America Online one. You had never heard of blogs, bloggers, MySpace, Facebook, YouTube or Twitter.

How did all of this oldness sneak up on us? Just happens, I guess. While we were watching our flat screens, texting on our cell phones and ordering our Netflix, The President became younger than most of our parents. It give it two, maybe three more presidents before he or she is younger than most of us.

Perhaps the only silver lining, is that when that happens we can adopt that righteous indignation all of those old people seemed to have we when we younger. You remember those “Old People”. The ones in their late 30’s.

Nothing we can do to stop it. Its gonna happen. And worse than that, one day some child will utter this phrase...

“Grandma Britney”

Jason