Deep Dark Secrets Revealed: I Make Lists

Wikipedia defines Obsessive–Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD) as a personality disorder which involves an obsession with perfection, rules, and organization. People with OCPD may feel anxious when they perceive that things are not right. This can lead to routines and rules for ways of doing things, whether for themselves or their families.

My name is Jason and I make lists. Not “ To-Do” list, or grocery lists or Christmas lists, but nonsense lists. Lists of no particular importance other than "Wow, this is bugging me, I need to make a list of all of these items / things.” It drives me nuts until I have done it.

Example, Saturday my girlfriend and I are driving to see the new Harry Potter, and as we passed one movie theater, I mentioned that I saw Harry Potter 4 there. That is when the switch went off and I had to then name all the movie theaters where I saw other Harry Potter movies. For the record its:

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone – Webster Theater, Chicago IL
Harry Potter in the Chamber of Secrets – Syracuse, New York
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban – Davis Theater, Chicago IL
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire – Western Theater, Chicago and Crown Village 18, Skokie IL (I saw it twice)
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix – AMC 21, Chicago IL
Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince – Western, Chicago IL

I do this crap all the time. There is usually no warning. Nothing usually triggers it. Someone brings up something, and then I get this overwhelming compulsion to do nothing else than to make a list all of the things involved. And the worst part is, it’s always nothing of any importance. Its stupid things like the Baldwin brothers:

Alec, Billy, Daniel, Stephen

Or the Jacksons:

Randy, Jackie, Marlon, Tito, Michael, Jermaine, Rebbie, Janet, Latoya

Or Vice Presidents going back to World War 2:

Biden, Cheney, Gore, Quayle, Bush, Mondale, Rockefeller, Ford, Agnew, Humphrey, Johnson, Nixon, Barkley, Truman

IT SUCKS! Why couldn’t I get an OCPD that was useful? How about the obsession to keep the kitchen clean? How about the obsession to save money? How about being obsessed with only eating green food? Those would be awesome. You know what is not awesome? Stopping work to make a list of the albums that came out in 2009, that I have on iTunes:

Bruce Springsteen - Working on a Dream
Away We Go Soundtrack
Tori Amos - Abnormally Addicted to Sin
Coldplay - LeftRightLeftRight
Wilco – Wilco (the Album
U2 - No Line on the Horizon
Lonely Island - Incredibad
Green Day – 21st Century Breakdown
Dave Matthews Band - Big Whiskey and the GrooGrux King
The Fray - The Fray.

It is always something inane. It’s like having the world’s stupidest super power aside from a green ring that does not work against anything yellow. (Sorry school bus full of kids about to go off that cliff) I have the super power to regurgitate trivia. Not photographic memory or the ability to speed read, or type really fast those would be good. All of those are useful. NO, I only have the ability to quickly make lists of all the Characters on M*A*S*H that left and who replaced them:

Trapper John was replaced by B.J. Hunnicutt
Colonel Blake was replaced by Colonel Potter
Frank Burns was replaced by Charles Emerson Winchester III.
(Radar left too and was replaced by Klinger, but Klinger doesn’t count because he was already on the show.)

SEE OF NO GOD DAMN USE TO ANYBODY!

Not even me! And don’t even get me started on my secret lists. Like my lists of all the DVD’s I have. Each list is on an excel spreadsheet, listed alphabetically with who is in it, and who directed it. And then my list of CDs, separated by store bought and ones I burned. Or my list of books. Or my list of Star Wars figures….

I HAVE A LIST OF MY LISTS!!

I guess I could have worse disorders, than trivial organization. And for the most part it does not affect my life, except for those moments between thinking up the list and then completing it. It's just stupid.

Anyway deep dark secret revealed. That and I like cheese.

Jason