Batman has Robin, The Lone Ranger has Tonto, Han Solo has Chewbacca. Side-Kicks, Second Bananas, every mythic character has one. So did Drunk Guy. His was The Crackhead.This all came flooding back to me this past week. We were having some work done, and we had to let the people have access to our back stair case. So while I was back there letting them in, it dawned on me "Oh Yeah, this is where The Crackhead used to smoke crack." It wasn't the only place, but it was one of the faves.
It's amazing to me now that all of this seemed normal when I started. That I was unable to see the cracks in the foundation. Sure now I can look back and say, "That made perfect sense, " but at the time it was more along the lines of "That's odd, but okay."
Drunk Guy and The Crackhead worked in the same department and sat right next to each other. They bonded I guess by smoking cigarettes out in front of the building. TCH or "The Crackhead" ( I am lazy typist, so what!) said he was Drunk Guy's superior. He said a lot of things, cause he was a sociopath. He said he was 25 (he had just turned 21). He said he flew F-14's in the Iraq War. He said had been a cop. He said he has worked in the industry for years. He also claimed to have slept with and fired one employee depending on the conversation. (She was a prize too. She would sleep in the back room cause she was out late with her boyfriend who just got out of jail). Out of the blue one time he claimed he was a Department Manager, a surprise to everyone, especially the President of the company, who never promoted him to that.
But absolute power corrupts absolutely, and thus was the case for TCH once he promoted himself to Department Manager. It started off small. He missed an appointment and was unreachable for hours (cause he was smoking crack). He sweated profusely when it was 71 degrees inside (cause he was smoking crack). He spent hours in the bathroom (cause he was smoking crack). [Once so long I was asked to go in and "check on him." I reported he was in a stall, I refused to inquire further.] He once borrowed the car of someone who worked in another office and disappeared for three hours, much to her and her husband's chagrin (cause he was smoking crack). I once went with him to get lunch, on the way back, he went to go drop off something real quick. He came back 2 hours later (cause he was smoking / buying / selling crack).
Through all of this Drunk Guy was "his brother" as he told me. Although they did have their tiffs, one that culminated with TCH carving in the men's room "Drunk Guy is a Fag" right above the toilet. Also Drunk Guy tried to move one weekend, the only person who would help him was TCH. They proceeded to almost get into a fist fight, and nothing got moved.
Yet all good things must come to an end and such was the case with TCH. See we started missing blank checks around the office. Come to find out TCH came in over one weekend and took a few. He made them out to himself and was cashing them at the Currency Exchange across the street. Not that he would have gotten away with for that long, but he didn't help matters by billing almost a $100 cab ride from the office he had JUST stolen checks from to his parent's house about an hour away.
So once TCH was exposed,he was fired. Drunk Guy was heartbroken. They shared was I can only assume was a heartfelt conversation in TCH's car, as TCH returned the laptop he had somehow convinced the office to let him take.
His sidekick was gone. Yet in a moment of clarity Drunk Guy did say this to me:
"I may be a drunk, but at least I'm not a crackhead."
Words to live by.
Jason
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