Proud to be a... Redneck?

Well I think I have heard it all now. Someone has offended the Redneck community, and they didn't even have to be a Black guy showing up at a kegger with his white girlfriend to do it.

No apparently, Janeane Garofalo has angered the Redneck Community by saying that their Tea Parties on the 15th were motivated by racism. I know right? Imagine someone thinking a Redneck was a racist. If the thought of rednecks being racist, didn't have a couple hundred years of history to back it up, that would be crazy.

Yet here we are with Crit Callebs founder of Save the Redneck on FOX News, calling for Janeane to apologize for her hurtful mischaracterization of "Redneck culture." And man are the Rednecks hotter than Georgia asphalt. Here are some of the comments from the FOX News site, misspellings and all.

Blumtnman says "From a Viet Nam Vet We boycotted Jane the B Fonda do the same thing to this witch with a b."

NavyBrat says "Her apology to me would mean as much to me as what I left in the can this morning."

and 'nuff B.S. added "her opinion on anything is allmost as important..(allmost) as a frog fart."

I now would like to take this opportunity to address the Redneck community.

Dear Rednecks:

What the hell has happened to you guys? What has happened to the beer drinking, pick-up driving, country music AND Metallica loving, gun shooting, confederate flag waving, double wide trailer living, inbred, stump jumping, backwoods, hillbilly, white trash, peckerwood, rednecks, I used to know. You are offended that Janeane Garofalo called you racists? That is like fish being offended by someone saying that they live in water.

I mean, you guys were the KLAN. You used to go out and lynch black people on a nightly basis. And even for those of you who weren't actually IN the Klan, you knew who was and certainly turned a blind eye to it. You put the confederate flag in the back of your pick up trucks. You name your kids "Robert E. Lee" and "Jefferson Davis." You elected George "Segregation Now, Segregation FOREVER" Wallace governor of Alabama multiple times. Now Janeane Garofalo has made you sad by calling you what you are?

I guess it is not your fault. I mean you are Rednecks. Its not like you have a history of being intellectuals. I mean professed redneck Kid Rock divorced Pam Anderson because he thought BORAT was real. And not to have you mad at another comedian, but you do know that when Jeff Foxworthy does those "You Might Be A Redneck..." jokes, he is making fun of you. Also Larry the Cable Guy... that is not his real name. His real name is Daniel Lawrence Whitney. And I hope you can handle this... he also does not really install cable.

And where did this bizarre sense of "Redneck" pride come from? "Redneck" has always been derogatory ("mean" for the rednecks reading this.) I understand "taking back a word", but why that one. Isn't it time for "Cracker" to ONLY be associated with a delicious treat?

Crit Callebs, co-founder of Save the Redneck, says, "Our aim is to set the record straight and celebrate everything positive about being a redneck." Well that should take about ten minutes. After you are done, you should all go back to doing what you do best.

Watching Nascar, dating your sisters and being racist.

Jason