A Better Class of Trollop

I find myself saying this more and more as I grow older: "Man when I was younger, stuff like this didn't happen." It seems to seep into almost every part of my life. I see something and am amazed/disgusted by it and continue on to the next thing. My current cause for amazement / disgust... Celebrity Affairs.

What has happened to the time honored tradition of a wealthy celebrity husband stepping out on his wife? I have seen Mad Men; there is etiquette to it. The Man steps out on his wife with some beatnik or school teacher, the wife finds out, he sleeps on the couch for a while, but she eventually takes him back because it’s the 1960's and being in a love less marriage beats the social chagrin of being... DIVORCED. Ok maybe Mad Men is a bad example.

Look at Tiger Woods and Jessie James. They follow in the footsteps of a long line of rich guys who cheated on their hot wives. But to me what seems to be different about these two in particular is... well the lack of class of the women they chose. In Jessie's case some crazy tattooed "model" and in Tiger's a series of porn stars and would be actresses. Seriously?

But in the 1960's, John F. Kennedy cheated on Jackie with Marilyn Monroe. MARILYN FRICKIN' MONROE. He didn't throw a rock and sleep with the gnarliest porn star he could find within three blocks. No, he got arguably the hottest woman in the world at that time. In the being unfaithful department, he had a little thing called "class". Tiger and Jessie should look into that, because they are no Jack Kennedy.

Say what you want about Bill Clinton cheating beneath him with Monica Lewinsky, at least Monica kept her mouth shut. These trollups today have turned cheating into a cottage industry. It used to be the only way to be a tramp and be "famous" was to be on VH-1's Rock of Love with Bret Michaels. Now all you have to do is sleep with a married celebrity. There are NEWS outlets, which are willing to pay not only for their stories but copies of their "Texts" and Sexts." It's disgusting.

And do you know who the real victims are here? The women who slept with celebrity husbands prior to Internet gossip sites. Divine Brown, she has to be kicking herself for not waiting until Perez Hilton.com was around to get arrested with Hugh Grant. Heidi Fleiss never had a chance to tell Gawker.com about the number of times Charlie Sheen employed one of her girls. You remember the woman who broke up Michael Douglas's marriage? Neither do I. I can't even Google her. And the reason no one knows her identity is because there was no Access Hollywood in 1993.

Don't get me wrong, I do not feel sorry for and am not defending these scumbags who cheated on their wives. I think they deserve every STD they get. I just hate watching a bad situation made worse when Tiger's Number 8 mistress, sells her voice mail from Tiger to TMZ.

It makes me yearn for the good old days, of cigars and a stain on a blue dress.

And I never thought I would miss that.

Jason